Why haven't you taken care of West Kowloon?
Just one more street to go!
I don't know how you get things done!
Don't start with me!
Start asking yourself!
What are you talking about?
What do you want?
Sit down and shut up!
What's taking so long?
What do you want?
If you can't do it, just say so!
Snake Ming is the reason Kowloon West is not under control.
Snake Ming?
We still can't find him.
He's been elusive!
What should we do, Crazy Horse?
You've found Snake Ming? Good!
Do it!
Hey! Huh?
Peter, where's your Boss?
What do you want with him?
Collect "tuo di" (protection money).
Straight to the back!
Thank you!
How can you let him through?
You're the security guard!
I'm here to protect the shop, not him.
Let him fend for himself.
Stop talking and get back to work.
That's true!
Hello?
Looking for me?
I came to wish you a thriving business.
My business is thriving.
How about to your good health?
I've always been healthy.
To your customers?
Are you one of them?
I'm here to protect you.
Me? I don't need any protection.
I already have bodyguards.
Who exactly are you?
You don't know who I am?
Everyone in West Kowloon knows Snake Ming.
Snake Ming? What kind of snake?
I hate snakes! They're so gross!
You're asking for it?
I'm not asking for anything.
I'm here to collect "tuo di". Cough it up!
What is that?
Don't play dumb with me!
I don't know what it is! How can I give it to you?
I'll get it myself!
I can't get UP!
Let me help you!
Thank you! Come again!
What do you want?
I came to collect protection fee,
obviously not to molest you!
Snake Ming!
Crazy Horse?
Dumpling!
Crazy Horse! Snake Ming!
It hurts...
Guards!
Why didn't you catch him?
He's an expert. Very powerful.
I can't go near him!
Step aside! Move away...
Well? Crazy Horse?
I'm sorry, it won't happen again!
It's too late to be sorry!
Get the tools!
Yes !
Why this song?
You remember this song from your first gathering?
Let's hold hands and rock.
Yes !
May worries and sadness be washed away.
Sing your heart out and no evils will stay.
Forget the past and dry your tears...
I'm sorry, Crazy Horse!
He's waiting for you to go back to Him.
Let's help him up!
Get up!
You said he's an expert!
I feel so blessed.
Blessed...
I'm sorry, Crazy Horse!
I didn't know I threaded on your son's turf!
Who's my son?
Him! He's your spitting image!
You can't say that!
Look closely, my nose is bigger,
he has thicker lips.
I have longer legs,
and my skin colour is a couple of shades darker.
Only our eyebrows are equally thick.
Say no more! You're confusing me!
And you! Stop causing any more trouble!
I'm not causing trouble, he is.
To guide this lost sheep back home,
I'm willing to be the scapegoat.
I'm sorry, because the Bible says...
Forget the Bible, enough nonsense!
I'm calling the Police to arrest trouble makers like you.
We are not trouble makers.
We're priests. I'm Rev. Ma Lai-ko.
You look too ferocious to be a priest.
Don't judge a book by its cover.
It's what inside that matters.
The Bible says...
Enough of your Bible nonsense!
The Bible is not nonsense!
But he said he came to collect "tuo di".
It's just a misunderstanding.
He only talks like that because you look like me.
I look nothing like you!
Why should I pay "tuo di" anyway?
I promised him I'd pay today,
so when he saw you, he said "tuo di"
when in fact he meant "today".
You must be kidding!
I told you it's a misunderstanding!
I should pay him "today".
Is my English worse than his?
I don't understand his English at all!
It's really a misunderstanding. Sorry to have bothered you!
Let's go!
Hey!
Who's paying for this?
Remember the Bible says...
Don't repeat it!
I'll return to the arms of the Lord.
Repentance is good!
Take him back to the church!
Reverend!
I was just looking for you!
I'm so grateful to you
or else I wouldn't have found Snake Ming.
Let's Pray!
Sure!
Ma Lai-ko!
Stay away from me!
Why are you following me?
Actually...
You be quiet!
You promised you wouldn't tell him where I am, Godfather.
How can you call yourself a follower?
It's not his fault.
We came looking for Snake Ming.
I don't care who you're looking for.
Don't let me see you again!
Why didn't you tell me he's here?
I'm his godfather,
if he doesn't want you to know,
I should keep it a secret.
What happened to us?
Where are you going?
I have a meeting with other priests.
Now that we've found Snake Ming,
we need to discuss how can
round up the remaining lost sheep in West Kowloon.
Open the church right here.
Then you can see him all the time.
The rent is too expensive.
Besides, it's not my decision.
It's His decision.
Reverend!
I have to go, you should head back too.
58...60...
What are you counting?
Age!
I've been watching all day,
only OLs come to the supermarket.
What's wrong with OLs?
Only "old ladies" come into the supermarket.
Don't we have young girls in this neighbourhood?
This is an old neighbourhood,
the elderly do the cooking at home.
Move! I'll go where the pretty girls are!
We don't have to!
I'm not asking for much.
I only want to see one school girl!
I will not wear a school uniform!
It doesn't work on you!
You have the figure of a primary school girl
I want someone more developed.
Look, Boss! Something here...
How can I get to the basketball court, please?
It's hard to tell you.
Vivienne is busy now,
I'm sorry she can't take you.
Please ask someone else.
Thank you!
I can take you.
I don't have to work!
What are you doing here?
I want to watch people play basketball.
I'm very good at that.
I almost played for the MBA.
Let me show you.
That's our ball!
Hey! This is outrageous!
Now it's mine!
That's our ball!
Hey! This is outrageous!
Now it's mine!
Shall I get you more?
No, 3 are enough.
Let's go!
Are you blind? Watch it!
Call me a free spirit!
I didn't know the basketball hoop in Hong Kong is so low.
Don't worry, I'll get it in this time.
Hey punk! What do you want?
You threw the ball at me again!
You're asking for it!
Call me a free spirit!
I didn’t know basketballs in Hong Kong are so light.
Relax! I'll get it in this time!
Marv!
There you are!
Who are you? Don't mess with my girlfriend!
She's mine now!
You want to meet the others?
I have 2 more girlfriends!
Jerk! We're through!
Marv!
Hey! What about the girl and my money?
Do I look like a basketball hoop, punk?
You kept throwing the ball at me
and didn't even apologise!
That's simple! Sorry! Bye!
Stop!
What now?
You're a cocky little punk!
Call me a free spirit,
I don't know what that means.
You little punk...
you're asking for a good beating,
uncle is happy to oblige.
Uncle? You're obviously a grandpa.
You dirty little punk!
Stop calling me a dirty punk!
Would I call you a dirty old man?
You...
What? I'm standing right here!
You're coughing, you shouldn't be eating candies.
Go home if you want to sleep, don't sleep here.
Told you not to eat candies, you'll get diabetes.
That's his medication for asthma, not candy.
Are you feeling better?
You almost got him killed, punk!
Why did they make medication look like candy?
He almost got me killed!
You should discipline your son.
Are you talking about me?
I'm cute and he's ugly.
Which part of me looks like his son?
You have an unfilial son!
He wouldn't call you his father!
He's not my son!
No?
He's a spitting image of you!
You should take this dirty old man to check his eyes.
There's definitely something wrong with them
I'll go find my girl.
You...
Let me help you up!
Something wrong with your back?
I'll give you a back rub!
Yes...I'm alive, thanks to you.
Love others like you love yourself,
the Bible says...
What?
The Bible says...
I'm sorry, I'm hard of hearing!
I can't hear what you said.
You heard me just now.
Why is it when I mentioned the Bible...
I'm sorry, I can hear anything but the Bible.
It's OK. You hurt your back.
Shall I take you home?
Thank you!
Be careful!
Despite your looks, you're willing to help people.
Helping people is my job, I'm Reverend Ma Lai-ko.
I'm Leung Bing, the underworld calls me Corny Bing.
Fujian Fried Rice Association
fights against triad organisations!
Thank you for your support.
Today we're signing a petition against triad influence in our community.
If you're harassed by triad members,
please come to Chai Tsau-shui.
Thank you for your support!
Get to work!
Uncle! You hurt your leg?
Sit down!
What is it? Thank you!
Does your leg hurt? Pictures...
Why are you taking pictures?
Do you need an ambulance?
Definitely not! I don't want my picture taken again.
I can take him home.
Is he your son?
No, I don't know him,
but he saved my life at the playground.
It's dangerous out there on your own.
Don't trust strangers so easily,
especially those who are nicely dressed.
He's probably after your money!
You must have seen it on Police Call.
I'm not a con man, Miss!
Don't worry, I can call your family.
No need. I can take him home.
The Bible says...
Oh, shut up!
You should shut up!
Come on...
Let's go! Don't mind them.
Excuse us...
Watch your step, Uncle!
Well?
I've just posted the picture on your personal page on Facelook.
Nice picture.
Go scout the neighbourhood for other elderlies.
Bring them to me if they hurt themselves.
Will do!
Posting online can be so effective.
Over 200 likes in such a short time!
It's the most effective publicity tool!
Counselor!
Your picture went viral online.
They're saying you colluded with triad members
and triad influence is spreading into the political arena.
What's your response to that?
I don't know what you're talking about.
There must be some misunderstanding!
You held a triad member's foot,
that's definitely collusion!
No, that old man said his leg was hurting,
so I just gave him a massage.
He's a famous triad bigwig called Corny Bing.
Corny Bing?
No one dared throw a ball at me before!
Are you hurt, Chief?
Shall we cancel the Fireworks Feast tonight?
Are you nuts?
Leaders of the other gangs will be there,
how can we cancel?
Who had the nerve to hit you with a ball?
A little punk who didn't know better!
He looks familiar, where have I seen him before?
Find him for me!
He's short, with thick lips.
He speaks Cantonese with a funny accent.
Like one of those ABCs.
Is this him?
Rich playboy starts uproar in supermarket.
Rick kid rendezvoused with pseudo models for 30 hours.
Playboy squandered $5M in a week.
That's him!
He's the son of billionaire Yau Cheung.
Billionaire?
Hurry up and find me a new location.
I want more young girls and not OLs, with nicer figures than yours.
Boss, humble advice I offer:
looks isn't everything.
Death is in the air! Run, Boss!
More over here...
Eddie Kwan?
Igor it!
I'll wear their clothes and put on the mask.
Then no one will try to kill me again.
I'm so brilliant!
One more?
Help! Don't hit me!
His voice sounds familiar!
Don't hit me, I'll pay you!
Oh, no! It's him!
Who hit me? Is it that guy?
Jesus loves you!
Sir, Jesus loves you, take a look!
Take a look, Sir! Jesus loves you! Jesus loves you!
There's a phone number...
Jesus loves you!
Which one of you is Crazy Horse?
There's no more Crazy Horse.
I'm Reverend Ma Lai-ko.
The Chief wants to see you.
(Brother Bing's Fireworks Feast For Friends)
Who's that?
The Chief invited him.
Which sect is he from?
(The Bible)
The church.
Crazy Horse!
Chief!
They are my friends.
Remember their faces.
He is Crazy Horse.
I've checked up on you, Crazy Horse.
Say "hello"!
Brother Crazy Horse!
Sit down, Crazy Horse!
This way...
He's sitting over there, smarty pants!
You flatter me!
Don't say that.
Come on, sit down!
Right, your brother is...
He's a brother of the Lord.
What's the difference?
Explain to them, Dumpling!
I don't really know either,
I'm repeating what I heard.
Buddy, no, Brother...
why do they call you Dumpling?
It's a nickname. My real name is Shiu Lung-pau.
Rev. Ma and I do evangelical work.
Bless you, Brother Bing.
I must thank Rev. Ma
or I wouldn't be sitting here, right?
Don't mention it!
Listen everyone, Crazy Horse saved my life,
from now on, his business is my business.
To slight him is to slight me.
Is that clear? Yes!
A toast to you, Crazy Horse!
Cheers, Crazy Horse!
Do you need any help?
I don't expect any rewards.
The Bible says...
Spare me the Bible!
I only want to repay your kindness.
That won't be necessary!
We only came to spread the word of the Lord.
Fine...you want them to join your church?
Yes !
From now on, Crazy Horse is our resident priest.
We understand, Chief!
Bring me the little punk!
Ouch! Hey...
Crazy Horse saved my life,
but this little punk almost killed me!
Let him out!
Yes !
Rich people don't scare me, punk!
I had you locked up for hours. Are you soared now?
You wish to say something?
I want shark's fin!
You're not invited to a banquet!
You must have shark's fin at a restaurant.
Without it, you might as well close down!
I can get some for you from the toilet!
I don't think so!
You're a cocky little punk!
I think he's stupid, not cocky!
Chop off his hands!
Chop them off...
Carry out the punishment!
You're my employee. You should help me.
Yes, but I'm off duty now.
I wish to repent.
Let me join your church, Hallelujah!
This is my family business,
please don't interfere.
You just said you wanted to return a favour.
I've told my boys to join your church.
Does anyone want to join my church?
Hey!
I don't think you got your wish.
How about letting this kid go on my account?
Fine! I'm good for my word!
It's your lucky day, punk!
Get me the hammer!
What hammer?
Thank you, Brother Bing!
Let's go drinking!
Let's drink up!
Why did he hit me?
To ensure you can walk out alive!
If he points with his finger, you won't make it to the door alive!
I reserve the rights to press charges!
Hello, snoopy!
Brother Yau!
Brother my foot!
Didn't you say you wanted to join the church?
I did and I'm done.
Now stop following me.
Can you show your faith again?
I will, when I'm in trouble again!
The Bible says...
You want my contribution?
No, I don't want any.
I only want you to join my church.
Where is it?
I don't have a location yet.
I can take you to another church for now.
Come back when you have a location.
Snoopy, where's the car?
Reverend!
Brother Bing!
Let me take you home!
You're very kind!
Let's go!
I think you've made a mistake.
I don't live here.
I know, but Dumpling told me
you're looking for a place for your church.
I have just the place for you.
Dumpling!
I must not lie!
Brother Bing asked me what you need
so I told him the truth.
Brother Bing, I can't accept it.
A man shouldn't talk like that.
You need a place to spread the word of the Lord.
Your target is the lost sheep of West Kowloon.
I can't accept such a big gift!
I'm only renting it to you!
The boxing club has been closed for a while.
It's probably very dusty,
Just clean it up, OK?
I can't!
Here...
Why here, of all places?
I'm likely to run into your godson.
Maybe this is His idea, not yours.
It's my idea!
Feel free to discuss this.
What about the lease?
We'll talk later! Let's go!
Still! How much is it?
Maybe Jehovah sent Brother Bing.
Let's take a look!
It's very spacious!
Yes !
We used to box in here,
now we're back in this place.
We used to come here to learn to fight
and protect ourselves from getting beaten up
Now we came to save people!
That's true!
One more...
Who is it?
You again?
You?
What are you doing here?
Why did you bring him here?
I may live with you,
but I'm entitled to my privacy.
Sun...
Stop calling me that!
Then what should I call you?
Mario! How many times do I have to tell you?
This is breaking and entering.
Does the owner know?
You know him? It's none of your business.
This is no different from stealing.
The Bibles says...
Stop! Say no more! I've heard it too many times.
I didn’t even touch anything.
Don't call me a thief!
This is no different from stealing.
What about you? You're doing the same thing.
I have the key!
He's the new tenant!
We're opening a church.
At the boxing club?
Not bad, we live 2 floors up.
You can come by when you're free.
I've had enough of the church since I was a kid.
He even called me Maria
and made me the laughing stock for years.
I don't want to be the Holy Mother anymore.
I want to be a man.
My name is Mario, not Maria.
Not how you wrote it.
You only wish to control me!
You won't let me exercise in here?
Fine! I'll go to a gym!
The membership fees are expensive.
You have money?
You always look down on me.
I'm warning you, stop following me!
You think] have no money for a gym?
I'll find my own place.
Can I help you?
I'd like to join your gym.
The annual membership fee is $39,999.
Sorry, I just remember I'm going to Vegas next month.
I may not make it afterwards.
Our monthly fee is $19,999.
What? One year is $39,999,
but one month is $19,999?!
Only an annual membership entitles you to a discount.
I just remember something,
I'm going to Milan next week.
Do you have a weekly plan?
We don't, how about a one-time offer?
Really? What is that?
Join us next time.
You're hiring a trainer?
I'm a big guy. Why didn't she hire me?
Rich ladies are hard to please!
She's crazy!
Have you heard what I said?
I repeat...I'm hiring a personal trainer.
Money is not an issue.
Tell me why I should hire you.
I have a trainer's certificate from the UK,
an Indian yoga instructor certificate,
and I'm into Thai meditation.
Hold on...Thai and Indian?
I'm not hiring a foreign language tutor, OK?
New
I know rumba, cha-cha, samba and jive.
In other words, Latin dance.
I already know all that! Out!
Barbara, I can teach you to firm up your muscles.
Mental! I don't need that! Next!
Barbara, I'm confident because you're fit enough.
Then why do I need you? Out!
I've been to every branch
but I couldn't find a trainer I like.
All of you are nothing but a hunk of meat!
Except me!
You?
Why should I hire you?
Because I think you're fat.
What?
Baby fat!
Who are you? Trespassers should leave.
Let him stay!
I'd like him to show his qualifications
and explain why I should hire him.
M-U-S-I-C, music!
She's hiring a trainer, not a dancer.
Exactly! Go dance on the street!
Shut up, protein!
Want to challenge me? How about a battle?
Let's see how much weight you can lift!
That's so boring! How about 15-20?
Go to a bar if you want to play the finger guessing game.
Not with your hands, with your chest!
Ready...10!
Ready...15! Ready...15!
Ready...all!
Ready...All! Bye!
Ready...5!
Ready...5! Good boy!
Ready...All!
Ready...All! Yeah!
What? Don't want to play anymore?
Fine! I'll play by myself!
Ready...5! All...!...Missed that?
Ready...All...
You're hired! What's your name?
Mario!
Hi, I'm Barbara.
Oh, Barbara! Yeah, Barbara!
Mom!
Honey!
Grandma...
Stop pulling my pants! Who's your Grandma?
They're all your grandchildren!
My grandchildren?
All mine? How nice!
You can't eat shrimps!
Yes, I can! Even sashimi.
What?
Honey, take a bite of this roast goose!
Yummy!
You can't eat roast goose!
I can eat the whole thing!
Delicious!
Grange, Mummy'.!
No, you're scared of oranges!
No, I like oranges.
What's going on?
I gave birth to this boy and I'm not allergic to oranges anymore.
This one took away my allergy to chips.
I've had 12 children
and lost 12 different allergies.
What's wrong?
I'm going into labour.
You were fine just now!
How can you be pregnant!
I just knocked her up!
So soon?
Sweetie!
What is it, Sweetie?
Mom!
You said you're not afraid of oranges!
When? You must be dreaming!
You're right! I was dreaming!
Who told you to turn on the TV?
What if you see...that fruit again?
What if you passed out and I was not there?
A lot of people said after giving birth,
some of their aches and pains are gone.
Is that a fair statement?
Women often go through a hormonal change after they give birth,
as if the organs have been reorganised.
If they take good care during the postpartum period,
their organs would feel like they have been renovated
and some of the aches and pains would disappear.
Auntie! There you are!
What's so urgent?
Sit down, open your mouth!
What?
Body check.
Again? Didn't we agree to do it once even; 3 months?
I just did one last month!
Just listen to me! OK, nurse!
I'll have the report by tonight.
Thank you!
Auntie, can you tell me what's going on?
You'll find out tonight.
Take a look at these menus.
Which one do you like?
I like this one and I've already made a reservation.
It's OK. Who's hosting a banquet?
You and Ching-man!
I've picked the date already
and also booked her wedding dress.
I'm getting married?
Why didn't I know about it?
Relax! I've had everything taken care of.
The registration, the banquet,
I've even booked the hospital bed for when she goes into labour.
I've filled in the application form for kindergarten
and picked the primary school and secondary school.
This year is a good year,
so if you get married now and have the baby 9 months later,
you won't run into the Year of the Dragon.
Then in 12 years,
the kid won't have to worry about getting into secondary school.
How thoughtful of you!
I'm also making payments for your columbarium.
Isn't that too soon?
Not at all! I must sort it out while I'm still alive.
You can't possibly wait till I'm dead
and then call me to do it for you.
You have a point.
But Ching-man and I have been dating for so long,
you wouldn't even let me kiss her.
Why am I marrying her suddenly?
I'm pleased because you're obedient.
I forbid you to kiss her and you never did.
Where else can I find a man like you?
That's why I have decided to let her marry you.
I need a flat to get married.
I don't have enough money!
Don't worry, you're making payments already.
I am? When?
I have been docking your pay even; month.
You've been saving money.
What? But that's not enough to buy a flat!
I invested your money in my flat.
You're making payments for a room for you and Ching-man.
I intend to live with you two.
How much do I make a month?
Let's not talk about that.
We're at a stage when money is nothing compared to the heart.
But that's my pay, my money!
Good boy! Calling me Mommy already!
Whatever! But I have yet to propose!
I've had everything ready.
Just make sure you dress up for tonight.
Sir, I need to get a sample.
What kind of sample?
What else? This is a premarital check-up!
Hello, Mom! I'm almost there!
Did you dress up?
Why do I have to dress up? I'm not going to a banquet.
Come quick. We're all waiting for you.
OK!
Here comes the bride!
Like a sweet couple of butterflies in a forbidden era.
Who can break away from life's tragedy?
In the dazzling world...
Mom!
Keep smiling.
It's crazy to be in this world,
Why try to go up into the sky?
Fall asleep with tenderness...
Wave...Keep smiling...
Fall asleep with tenderness...
Thank you...
Thank you for coming, everyone.
My daughter Ching-man and young talent Kwok Po
grew up together and have been dating for a long time.
They're about to enter a new phase in their lives
as they're getting engaged tonight!
Engaged? I haven't decided!
You don't need to. I did it for you!
Kwok Po! Yes?
Kneel!
I can't do this, Mom!
Be a good girl!
Will you many me, Ching-man Baby?
Marry him...
Mom!
Don't move!
Yeah...
Kiss her...
No, we can't do that!
Relax! I made him do a check-up today.
The report said he's clean of any germs.
Before you came here, he has been disinfected 5 times.
He's doing it for the 6th time...look!
I'm not ready, Mom! I can't do this!
You don't have to get ready!
You complain that I try to run your life.
Now I'm letting you kiss him and you're making up excuses.
If you don't kiss him,
you'll embarrass me in front of everyone!
Go on!
I can't!
Come on!
Kiss her...
What is it?
What's going on?
Kwok Po, what did you put on? What have you eaten?
Look at her lips!
I thought it'd be nice if I put on some lip balm.
She's allergic to lip balm!
How would I know?
I have never kissed her before!